Ms. Dad to You

How in the world did I forget how intense elementary school could be?!

I'm finding new footing again, after transferring to a new elementary school and a new 2nd grade class for my main site the rest of the year.  In leaving my first school, my cooperating teacher advised me that 99% of the time, a transfer leads to something better.  I had given my heart to the kids, but my teacher's advice still hurt for a while.  I think I spent most of October and November wondering and perhaps, grieving a bit at not getting closure with the students I had given my all to in the September Experience.
In the two days I've been at my new school, I've loved it.  I'm enjoying the kids and I'm daunted by them at the same time.  Their needs are immediate and long-term...and for some of them, entirely outside my jurisdiction.

Yet what a difference knowing the background of a student can do for both teacher and student!
I learned early that one student tended to make her own routine during school.  In the general hubbub that is brewing and exploding outward (the normal for a 2nd grade classroom!), she will slip out of her chair and wander everywhere.  The sheet of the Four Motives of Misbehavior (I think that's what it is called), together with knowledge of the student's home life, really helped me put pieces together.  This student, "Sandy" is being raised by her mother alone.  The mother has had a string of boyfriends, and the last one was actually quite a good influence.  He apparently had met with the teacher, and she had also seen Sandy being calmer and able to concentrate more.  Unfortunately, the mother's relationship with the boyfriend ended abruptly this past month.  Since then, Sandy has reverted to her misbehavior from the beginning of the school year.

Knowing this, and seeing her wanting to do the opposite of what the teacher asks, it fit together that Sandy was trying to establish control in the only way she has.  It affected my actions toward her, which normally I wouldn't attempt until after a month together!

I've steered her and (gently) put my foot down when she tries to avoid working.  When she hasn't eaten any of her food, I decided for her she would eat two more bites before she goes out to recess.  To my relief, she DID eat the bites, after I'd portioned them out with a fork.  And I felt that when Sandy looks at me, looking to see if I will flinch, the thing she needs to see from me is that I mean what I say.
The relationship acrobatics alone is exhausting.  Whoever knocks this profession needs to remember that we're shaping hearts. We're uncovering the minds they deserve to flex and use.  The treasure is in the little moments when, for a moment at least, Sandy trusted me.  There's no test that can quantify that.